This is what you get.

This kit organizes everything you have shared into documents you can bring to a first meeting with an attorney, mediator, or financial advisor. Read the roadmap first, then work through the checklist. Anything marked "[fill in]" is a gap worth completing before your consultation.

Where You Are Now

You've decided to divorce Tom after 12 years of marriage but haven't yet informed him or your children, Emma and Jake. You're leaning towards mediation, which can be a more amicable and cost-effective way to handle divorce.

Phases Ahead

1. Initial Discussions and Planning: Start by having a conversation with Tom about your decision to divorce. Plan how to tell Emma and Jake together, using the scripts and strategies you've discussed.

1. Mediation Preparation: Gather all necessary documents and information to prepare for mediation. This includes financial records, a proposed custody schedule, and a preliminary budget.

1. Mediation Sessions: Work with a mediator to negotiate terms of the divorce, focusing on asset division, custody arrangements, and financial support.

1. Finalizing the Agreement: Once terms are agreed upon in mediation, your mediator or attorney will draft a settlement agreement. Review this carefully before signing.

1. Legal Finalization: File the settlement agreement with the court to finalize the divorce. In California, there's a mandatory six-month waiting period from the time the divorce is filed until it can be finalized.

What to Do Now

• Tell Tom: Plan a time to discuss your decision with Tom.
• Prepare Financially: Start gathering financial documents and consider how to address your concerns about Tom's income reporting.
• Custody Planning: Refine the draft custody schedule and think about how it can accommodate Tom's work schedule and the kids' needs.

What Can Wait

• Legal Filings: You don't need to file anything with the court until after mediation, if that's the route you choose.
• House Decisions: Focus on financial planning first to understand your options regarding the house.

Priority Documents

1. Financial Records

- Bank Statements: Recent statements from joint and individual accounts to understand cash flow and savings.

- Retirement Accounts: Statements from Sarah's CalSTRS pension and Tom's solo 401(k) to assess retirement savings.

1. Property Records

- Property Valuation: Recent appraisal or market analysis of the house to support discussions about keeping or selling it.

1. Debt Information

- Loan Documents: Details of Tom's truck loan, as it's a marital debt.

1. Personal Records

- Children's Information: Birth certificates and school records to support custody and support arrangements.

Asset & Debt Inventory

| Item | Type | Estimated Value | Whose Name | Classification | Notes |

|--------------------------|--------|-----------------|------------|----------------|----------------------------|

| Family home (Fremont, CA)| Asset | $1,150,000 | Joint | Marital | about $310k mortgage remaining |

| Tom solo 401(k) | Asset | $95,000 | Tom | Marital | contributions during marriage |

| Sarah CalSTRS pension | Asset | [fill in] | Sarah | Unsure | needs valuation |

| Joint savings | Asset | $18,000 | Joint | Marital | |

| Joint credit card | Debt | $6,200 | Joint | Marital | |

| Truck loan | Debt | $14,000 | Tom | Unsure | work vehicle |

Next Steps

1. Pension Valuation: Obtain a valuation of your CalSTRS pension to understand its worth in the asset division.
2. Income Documentation: Gather documentation of Tom's contractor income to ensure accurate reporting during mediation.
3. Budget Planning: Refine your budget based on potential support scenarios and living expenses.
4. Consult a Real Estate Professional: Consider getting a market analysis for the house to explore options for keeping or selling it.

Draft Custody Schedule Proposal

Given Tom's variable work schedule and the children's school commitments, a 2-2-3 rotation might offer stability and flexibility.

• Monday & Tuesday: Sarah
• Wednesday & Thursday: Tom
• Friday to Sunday: Alternating weekends

This schedule ensures both parents have quality time with Emma and Jake while accommodating Tom's work variability. Discuss this draft with Tom to refine it based on both of your availabilities and the children's needs.

Questions to Ask Your Lawyer

1. House Affordability: What are my options for keeping the house, and how can I assess if it's financially viable?
2. Income Verification: How can we ensure Tom's income is accurately reported?
3. Mediation Process: What should I expect during mediation, and how can I best prepare?
4. Custody Arrangements: How might the court view our proposed custody schedule?
5. Pension Valuation: How do we value my CalSTRS pension for the divorce?
6. Support Calculations: How is spousal and child support calculated in California?
7. Debt Responsibility: How will our joint debts be divided?
8. Retirement Accounts: What are the implications of dividing Tom's 401(k)?
9. Legal Costs: What are the expected costs of mediation versus litigation?
10. Timeline: How long does the divorce process typically take in California?
11. Tax Implications: What tax considerations should I be aware of during and after the divorce?
12. Communication Strategy: How should I approach telling Tom and the kids?
13. Post-Divorce Planning: What steps should I take to ensure financial stability post-divorce?

What to Bring

• Financial documents (income, debts, assets)
• Draft custody schedule
• Any communication with Tom about the divorce

Tip for Keeping the Meeting on Track

Stay focused on your key concerns and questions. Prioritize understanding your financial position and the mediation process.

Prepared by DivorcePlan.ai from your own information. This is organizational preparation and general education, not legal advice; no attorney-client relationship is created. Laws vary by state — a licensed attorney in your state can advise on your specific situation.